Love and War

     

How do you forgive someone for breaking your heart over and over? Is this what love is? A series of small wars fought until peace is achieved? If so I’ll go create my own utopia by myself. I’m tired of rebuilding after every battle. The repeated pain is tortuous and I once read somewhere that suffering was optional. Why plan for the rest of our lives if we’re going to kill each other before we get there? 
~Jules X

 

white picket fences

White picket fences

Don’t safeguard you

From sorrows and heartbreak

Or from feeling down and blue

 

Behind white picket fences

Real is false and fake is true

Lies and secrets come alive

And marriage isn’t the glue

 

Break down the white picket fences

See the practical truth

You don’t need Prince Charming

You need to love you

 

Don’t rush life for white picket fences.

Father Time is here for you

Life will work out and all will be good

Be happy and do you, boo.

Break up with the Break Up Cycle

breakupNeed a sign? This is your sign. How many chances do you give someone who breaks your heart? Are you a believer of second chances? We are all fools in love. Bring on the clichés! Make up to break up. Breaking up is hard to do. A leopard can’t change its spots.

I’ve been there, done that, taken a picture, framed it and hung it on the wall. I’ve given someone a second chance and then a third. It was a never ending vicious down-ward spiral. Was I gullible or just plain stupid?

Dating this guy again and again was like dating a new person every time. I just couldn’t get him. I couldn’t figure him out and so I kept trying. I finally realized, over much wasted time and ignored advice, that I would never figure him out. He is just an inconsistent person, actually, wait, it’s that his only consistency was inconsistency. I’ve successfully stay broken up with him for more than two years now and am glad that I am the one that got away.

Why didn’t I listen to my friends and family when they advised me to run away as fast and as far as I could? I thought we had something special. He did just enough to keep me happy and then kept me starving for more love and affection. This endless break-up and make-up cycle can happen to anyone. But why me? I’d ask myself over and over again. How could he do this to me? He’d do something wrong and I’d break up with him. He’d come back on bended knees, confessing his love, apologizing, begging for me to take him back and that he’d change for the better. Stupid me, I’d forgive him. He’d change for a few months then he would slowly work up to doing harm to me again in another way. What was wrong with him! The real question is, what is wrong with me? Why did I keep taking him back? Why do I want to be with someone who doesn’t respect or love me? Girls, it wasn’t me, it was him. He didn’t deserve me. We were a bad fit. It was time to break up with the break up cycle and move on with my life.

So girls, those tired old sayings serve a purpose, to teach you to learn from others’ horrible mistakes. They are lessons you don’t want to learn the hard way, trust me! Here are some clichés we all should take heed to:

1). Love is blind.

When friends and family you love, trust and respect don’t like your new beau, they are probably sensing something you can’t because of the butterflies in your stomach. Be careful of someone your friends and family can’t get along with. Trust the gut instinct of friends and family.

2). A leopard can’t change its spots.

A lover should not be a fixer-upper. If you want him to change or if he wants you to change the two of you are not a good fit. You should be loved for who you are. There will be some compromise but it should not feel like sacrifice.

3). Birds of a feather flock together.

Who are his friends? We are most like our friends because of common interests and shared opinions. If you can’t get along with his friends that’s probably a sign to get out now.

5). Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.

So you think he’s the one and you’re both just living the dream. It’s time to make it official and take the next step. Have the talk about marriage, kids, money and life long goals. If he’s the one he’ll want to hear what you envision for the future and he’ll plan a future for the both of you.

6). Actions speak louder than words.

So you’ve had the talk and it’s been quite some time since the talk. Maybe you have a ring, maybe you don’t. Actions speak louder than words. If there isn’t a plan or date set and money isn’t the issue, it’s time to call his bluff. You’ll be happier when The Real One comes along.